Making the rounds.

GP, gastroenterologist, ear doctor, cardiologist, ultrasound of the abdomen, stress test, hearing exam, dermatologist...

I started this back in November of 2007 and the funny thing is as I write this in early April I am again coming off of another circuit of the rounds as it were.

I took some days off last week (and really I’m kind of at the point where I wouldn’t mind taking a month or two off) and during that time off part of it was spent getting another Covid test and then prepping for a Colonoscopy.

I have something of a condition and my GI doctor is about to retire and last year I had been on a drug for a couple of months so it was a bit of a follow up to see if there was any improvement. Prepping for this has actually gotten a little easier if you can believe that, I mean to say it’s not something I look forward to but I don’t quite think of it necessarily as a bad thing because honestly the one result of the pandemic is that I’ve become a fatter fuck than I already was and I was a fat fuck to begin with.

Not eating for a bit of time is something I can weather and probably weather quite easily and longer considering the voluminous reserves I have to draw on.

I’m always a little anxious about these things though because nowadays they require you to go under for the procedure. I consider myself lucky because I’ve been able not to have to go under the knife for anything outside of getting my tonsils out as a kid other than one time about twenty years ago. I’m glad for that, the best way to live a long life is to stay out of the hospital.

Anyway, so my wonderful vacation from work had me working one day of the weekend going into the week I was supposed to be off and then having my boss not approving the Friday so instead of a glorious nine days away from stupidity it was only five. Of course the other thing about the ‘wonderful’ aspect was prepping and going for the procedure itself which put a damper on things.

The first time I had a colonoscopy done I was awake for the whole thing. I don’t know if I ever wrote about it but the best way to describe the experience was that it must be what alien abductees feel like because the room was very dark, there were weird sounds and then there was the weird discomfort of something moving around inside of me.

I can remember my Doc at the time had his wife as his nurse and the two of them were in the room for the procedure. She asked me if I wanted to look and the truth of it was, I never thought seeing your insides was a good thing, the only time you see your insides is if something tragic has occurred and you know what they say, “How the sausage gets made.” Certainly taking a tour of the inside of the wrapping of the sausage is less than appealing.

But I was awake for the whole thing and survived it.

This time around, I was probably a little less apprehensive about it than the last time I went which for some reason had me very nervous indeed. Perhaps Covid restrictions had something to do with that because there was no waiting around really. They keep waiting rooms empty because of Covid so me and my ride got their a bit early and after a few minutes they were ready for me and I went in. The doc was running ahead of schedule so it was pretty much, get in there, take the clothes off, get the gown on and we’ll wheel you in.

Surprisingly enough, the Anesthesiologist was the same guy from last time and they got me set up and off we went. In short order I was out for a nap and after a little bit I remember dreaming and hearing voices. It then struck me that I was awake and what I was hearing was the people around me. I waited a short bit because honestly I didn’t feel all that bad or uncomfortable and I opened my eyes and looked around a bit. I could see the view from the scope and it took a second for the people in the room to realize I was indeed awake.

Long story short, I’ve got some metal in me now... I’m slowly making my way to becoming the six million dollar man on more of a budget price (but the metal will go away on its own eventually).

I’m trying to get a lot of things done now to use up all my benefits while I can because the truth is I just don’t trust the creeps I’m working for but that’s a story for another day.